It was 2 days ago that I had dream series of my family in Indonesia.
Having like one on another dream came sequentially was tiring, at least that’s what I thought.
Just felt like losing lots of energies, when one dream’s over, and about to take deep breath to sleep soundly.. the continuation series came again..
I was in “International students travel” held by University of Tokyo to Nikkou(日光） and as usual, I communicate with my mom either by phone or sms. At that time, mom’s sending me msg that she felt so lonely, taking care of the family store in Medan while the employee’s absent and Daddy’s sleeping. T_T
It brought me back to the old times when I accompanied my mom, assisting to be a cashier, conducted services to our customers, grabbed the “project” at school for photocopying services.. It was a mini photo studio,stationery and photocopying service store. In my view, it’s no longer considered for the sake of livings to my parents. But it seems too be so precious for them to leave it.. Frankly, it’s for me as well, as that store had brought us up, feeding us up, but I thought that we have to move forward for a better quality of life.
As the older child, I have the view of pleasing my parents as much as I can.. I simply want them to be happy in their retirement age. I urged them repeatedly to move to Jakarta, at least it’s better, because my brother is in Jakarta and the other one is in Jogjakarta.
Back to the topic, after getting her msg, I soon called my mom. We talked and I asked if she’d received the money that will be transferred by my brother. But she didn’t receive it. I was so angry, because I’ve sent my brother msg and even called him to send mom money rightafterwards, it’s been 2 weeks ago.
This talk perhaps leaded me to the series of the dream I had that night.
In the dream, I was a bit uncontrolled angry to my brother for his careless. He’s so unreliable!
He took care of his own things better than family’s matter. I couldn’t remember exactly what I did and talked to him.. but after getting up, I felt my body ached.
I know my brother also had hard times, that’s why I never blamed him. all I do is motivating him and giving a little advise. In the bottom of my heart, I admired him for his risk taker and toughness.
So how could I be so angry with him (in the dream)?
It’s just a dream, I’d better clarify with him and talk in a better way instead of being angry that will not solve the problem.